Having been born and raised in rural Carmarthenshire, South Wales, the eldest of three siblings, Ann Davies moved to the bright lights of London. She was married, working at the Ministry of Defence in Whitehall, and looking forward to raising a family with her husband, but suddenly, it all changed…
It was Christmas week in 1968, and I was in the hospital with tuberculosis; my husband visited me and sensing that he was bothered over something, I wanted to comfort him and pressed him to share what was wrong. It was then that he told me he no longer loved me and wanted to leave. My life fell apart and I even attempted suicide, but I’m so thankful that God kept me. Over the following years another relationship developed. We considered marriage but I was very uncertain and scared. I was still carrying the hurt of the previous years and I didn’t want another failed marriage, so I decided to run as far away as possible.
I wrote to several embassies for a visa and work, and in May 1976, I was sailing to South Africa to work in Johannesburg. I made many friends there, one of whom was a young Afrikaans lady who was a Christian. She talked about Jesus and his love and kept inviting me to church. I considered myself to be a Christian, and I didn’t like the way she insisted that you needed to have a relationship with Jesus to go to heaven. I knew of heaven and hell and feared the latter but hoped to go to heaven because I was brought up in church and did good deeds. I just wanted to live my life, forget the hurt, and enjoy the things this world could give me. However, she persevered, and eventually I accepted her invitation to a Sunday evening service, intending it to be my first and last time attending her church!
Something happened to me at that meeting; I became very uncomfortable and angry as the Bible was read and explained. I realised God knew everything I had done – yes, I had been a victim of difficult times, but my life was also full of shameful thoughts and deeds. Over the next weeks, I struggled against my guilty conscience. At times, I would think I’d become involved with religious fanatics, but deep down, I knew that God had spoken to me and he wasn’t happy with my life.
Finally, one night, I got drunk and was in a bad state. I was hurting and angry, and I remember holding tight to the wash basin in my bedroom and calling out to God, ‘If you are the God I’m told you are, then please save me’. It was at that point that God broke through in my life. I saw that although I had sinned against him, he still loved me, and Jesus died and rose again to save me. The grace of God poured into my life, and I was transformed. I realised that I’d been living my life for the things of this world that did not satisfy, but now I had God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. I felt deep joy and acceptance that I had never felt before.
After eight months in South Africa, I headed for Israel and lived for a time near Nazareth, where Jesus had lived! However, I received news that Bet, my dear sister, was very ill, so I returned to Carmarthen to be with her and her children.
Back in Wales, my relationship with God grew, and by praying, I was led to apply for a job in Bala, North Wales. Although the job only lasted six months, God provided a home and new work in the town. Soon he also provided a church to worship in and a place to sell Christian literature. And here I am, still in Bala 43 years later! I’ve held various jobs, but my passion has been the local Christian bookshop where I chat with people and tell them about Jesus and his love for us. Although God hates sin and will punish every wrong, he doesn’t want anybody to be lost. He offers a new life and forgiveness to all who trust in Jesus.
Life has not always been easy. I have deep scars from childhood and my divorce, yet as I look back I can never doubt God’s mercy. His love is real and he has been my constant companion and will keep me until my dying day when I can be with him forever.
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